The Smooth Start Mini-Guide: 8 Montessori Strategies for starting daycare and school
No matter your child’s comfort with new situations, this Montessori-inspired guide is packed with quick tips to help support a smooth and positive transition to daycare or school. Inside you’ll find 8 evidence-based strategies along with actionable tools and practical therapist tips that you can use to help your young child feel more prepared and confident for their new start.
Chances are you’re already using some of these strategies. Explore all 8, identifying which ones you’re already making use of and can build on, and which ones you’ll introduce in the coming weeks. It can help to pull out your calendar and write down any specific days you want to start specific strategies.
8 Montessori Strategies for a Smooth Start to Daycare and School
1. Share the Teacher's Role
Introducing your child to the people who will care for them fosters a sense of security and trust in their new environment.
Your tools:
Reassurance
Explain that teachers are there to take care of them, help them learn, and ensure they feel safe and happy.
Connection
Introduce the teacher beforehand, if possible, to create a sense of familiarity. Even if you can meet in person, it can also help to print a photo, find a video of them on social media, or email the teacher and ask them to send a quick video of them saying hello to share with your child so that you can repeat the introduction.
Therapist Tip:
Ask your child if they can think of a person they feel safe with? It could be a close friend, parent or even the family pet! Let them know that they can also “cue up” this picture of this person in their mind at any time they’re feeling like they need some extra comfort!
2. Familiarize with Daily Routines
Establishing a predictable routine helps children feel more comfortable and confident as they adapt to their new daily structure.
Your tools:
Daily Schedule
Share a simple version of the daily routine with your child so they know what to expect.
Visual Aids
Use pictures or drawings to illustrate key parts of the day, like circle, snack time, and nap time.
Therapist Tip:
Flexibility: Just like the trees sway amongst the wind, sometimes plans change or shift. This is okay. Letting your child know that things don’t always go as planned, but that they can sway like a tree and flow with shifts. Moving their bodies ( arms as branches, fingers as leaves) like a tree can be a somatic reminder that our bodies can adapt, move with changes, and adjust.
3. Introduce the Environment
Getting acquainted with the surroundings in advance can reduce anxiety and make the new space feel more familiar.
Your tools:
Tour the Facility
If possible, visit the daycare or school together to familiarize your child with the environment. If you can’t go inside, you can still tour outside and look inside the windows together.
Bathroom and Diaper Change Support
Reassure your child that teachers will help with bathroom needs and diaper changes. Keep it playful with songs, chants, and light hearted fun, inviting them to role play asking for help when they need it.
Therapist Tip:
This is a great opportunity for your child to practice the developmental skills of building autonomy, along with gaining a sense of agency in their bodies.
Food and Snack Availability
Let your child know that the school provides food and snacks and that they will be taken care of.
Fun and Role Playing
Invite your child to anticipate their needs, to help plan what they’ll need to prepare ahead of time (extra clothing, diapers, blanket)|, role play together (I’m still hungry, I feel tired, I bumped my hand and it hurts), and use songs and rhymes to keep it light and fun, reminding them they will be well taken care of.
Therapist Tip:
What sounds does my tummy make when I’m hungry?
What do I notice about my energy, is my tank full, empty or okay?
When I take a deep breath during snack and lunch, I can smell…..
When I look at my plate, the colors I see are…..
The taste in my mouth that feels the best is….
Here is a sweet moment to integrate mindfulness skills to support your child’s nervous system to move into a state that will support them with the transition.
4. Establish the Drop-Off and Pick-Up Routine
A consistent drop-off and pick-up routine builds predictability, helping your child transition smoothly from home to school.
Your tools:
State a Clear Plan
Clearly explain the drop-off and pick-up routine, including who will be picking them up.
Consistent Goodbyes
Practice saying goodbye with a consistent routine, such as a hug, kiss, and a specific phrase.
Therapist Tip:
If you notice your child presents with big worries or anxieties upon separation, perhaps make a plan ahead of time together about what the “reunification” activity will be upon pick up or after school. Perhaps something exciting that your child loves doing with you that they can look forward to!
5. Empower Your Child with Responsibility
Giving your child small tasks fosters independence and boosts their confidence in handling their new environment.
Your tools:
Involvement
Give your child small responsibilities to help them feel involved, such as looking for the school sign or pressing the door button.
Ownership
Encourage your child to carry their backpack or lunchbox to promote independence.
Therapist Tip:
Check-in: after the first few days, come together to chat about how these responsibilities are feeling. Would they like more or less responsibilities, different ones? This can be a helpful gauge around how their emotional health might be doing.
6. Prepare Emotionally
Acknowledging and addressing emotions helps your child feel understood and better equipped to manage their feelings during this transition.
Your tools:
Storytelling
Share stories about other children starting school and how they enjoyed it.
Acknowledge feelings
Help your child bring forward any feelings of nervousness and reassure your child that it’s okay to feel that way. Share your own personal stories, those of friends, or characters in stories.
Therapist Tip:
Validation: By definition, validation means to hear and truly see someone else’s feelings. Even if you do not agree, or see it the same way. Validate what is real for your child, and support them in naming those feelings. This is a supportive opportunity for building their emotional literacy and self awareness.
7. Create a Calm Morning Routine
A peaceful morning routine sets a positive tone for the day, easing the transition to daycare or school.
Your tools:
Practice Runs
Practice the morning routine a week before the start date to build familiarity and to address challenges ahead of time.
Calm Environment
Adults are the tone setters of the household. Find your own ways to keep calm and unhurried so that your child can adopt the same low-stress morning routine.
Reduce decision making in the mornings
Try and make all selections the night before, such as getting your child to select their outfit for the next day, and packing their after-daycare/school snack the evening before.
Therapist Tip:
Parents: what did you notice growing up about mornings that you would like to pass on or integrate into your family now? What do you wish to toss? Amongst all of the expectations and morning “ to-do’s” taking a moment to reflect on your values, wants and needs for mornings can also offer parents a sense of purpose.
8. Strengthen your Parent-Child Bond
Reinforcing your connection with your child during this transition period provides them with the emotional security they need.
Your tools:
Quality Time
Ensure that leading up to and through the transition you are maintaining your dedicated time with your child. Transition your quality time rituals that overlap with their new routine to another time. Mid-day food prep can turn into after dinner food prep, or cuddles in the chair before nap can become morning cuddles.
Connection Strategies
Use connection rituals like special handshakes, a goodbye rhyme, wearing matching bracelets or winks that reinforce your unique bond with your child.
Therapist Tip:
Here are a few books I love that hold the parent-child bond at heart, while instilling positive mental health behaviors:
“Finding Your Stars” by local Toronto Writer, Carolyn Morris
“The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn
“Wilma Jean the Worry Machine” by Julia Cook
Are you feeling closer to a smooth start?
Transitioning to daycare or school is a big step for both parents and children. Preparation and reassurance are key to helping your child feel confident and excited about their new journey.
Which of these strategies will you use to create an empowering first day at daycare or school for your child? Join the conversation inside the Emmi parenting app where you can connect with a community of families learning about and implementing Montessori tools at home.
8 Strategies for a smooth start to daycare or school
☐ Share the Teacher's Role
☐ Familiarize with Daily Routines
☐ Introduce the Environment
☐ Establish the Drop-Off and Pick-Up Routine
☐ Empower Your Child with Responsibility
☐ Prepare Emotionally
☐ Create a Calm Morning Routine
☐ Strengthen your Parent-Child Bond
About Lisa
Lisa Azzopardi | CYC, MSW, RSW
REGISTERED SOCIAL WORKER, PSYCHOTHERAPIST
Lisa holds 20 years of experience practicing in child, adolescent and family mental health. They’ve practiced as a Child & Family Therapist at the SickKids Centre for Community Mental Health in the intensive services programs, and across Ontario at the Ministry level. She has extensive experience supporting children, youth, parents and families coping with anxiety, depression, OCD, sexual abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship challenges.
Lisa has co-developed clinically innovative groups and programs for parents that have received national attention at the Canadian Collaborative Mental Health Conference & Children’s Mental Health Ontario. Lisa is the co-founder of Moon + Gem, a perinatal mental health collaborative offering group therapy to the perinatal population, and supports clients in her private psychotherapy practice.
Her practice focuses on supporting children and adults healing from trauma, anxiety + depression, grief and relational challenges, while her parenting practice includes building lego, being an ear to all things Harry Potter & playing tag!